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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Neither Here Nor There | No comments:

After reading fourfeetnine's post on, I realised that I actually shared the same sentiment.

I'm 28 this year and my biggest achievement in life would probably be giving birth to my son. Other than that, I have not done anything significant that I can be proud of.

Since young, I have always been a stay at home girl because my mom was really strict with curfews. I did some bowling, represented my school and won third place in a bowling competition and stopped playing after I left high school. I started to work in my cousin's workshop right after I got my SPM results. And studied part time in a small college in Penang. Got my diploma and dropped out of college because I couldn't afford the exam fees. Eventhough I was granted with a scholarship, the exam fees was too much for me to bear. I cam from a single family and I was the only one to work earning RM1400.00 a month.

I continued working for my cousin until I met my husband at the end of 2007. We got married and I gave birth in 2009. While pregnant, I worked in a bridal boutique, learnt some basics illustration and sewing. Resigned and stopped working for almost a year. Thought of starting a wedding business myself, so husband applied for some loans but the money was spent on moving to a new house and some of it got cheated by the wedding manufacturer in China.

And then nightmares began with me max out husband's credit cards and a lot more of things that I am too shameful to mention here.

After things got out of hand, I started working in a bridal boutique again. I was underpaid and overworked, working till 2-3am alone in the boutique trying to complete all the alterations on time.

Something happened and I started to find for a new job only to find myself landed in WG. I had a lot of fun and that's all about it. Fun.

Career wise, I have been jumping from one industry to another like a frog in boiling water. From motor insurance to bridal to F&B for like three months and now pest control and hygiene. Eventhough I am a fast learner and can reasonably adapt to any working environment, but the cons will be the limit on my knowledge towards an industry.

I can sew but I can only do alterations and that's about it. I can do fashion illustration but compared to others, mine is kinda mediocre.

I can write and I can see a vast improvement in my writing but I am not terribly good at it. I still have to look up to thesaurus in order to come up with a good article. And each time I submitted my writeup to my superior, it had to be amended at least 4-5 times, with the help of my superior in order to get it right.

"Jack of all trade" is probably the word that I would use to comfort myself, but the truth is I am pretty much, a master of none.

I felt that I had totally wasted a few years of my life away. If I had started my career in a corporate world, I would probably be somewhere up there now instead of a low level executive that I am right now.

And shamefully, besides donating a few bucks away to charity homes and temples, I have never done anything impressive that could help make the world a better place.

If I were to die today, my family and some of my friends would probably be devastated but that's it. Nobody would remember anything about remarkable me simply because I have done nothing.

I really hope that I could do something that one day my son would lookup to and be proud of. To carve my name on an achievement instad of just getting along in life. I hope it's not too late.

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